Shared from: http://www.policymic.com/articles/21665/ask-a-muslim-10-weird-questions-i-m-often-asked-but-am-happy-to-answer
As I prepare to say goodbye to 2012, I hope that I'll also be
saying goodbye to these 10 interesting questions I am occasionally asked. I am
not providing this list to make fun of the individuals who have asked these
questions, but as a means to answer them for the last time.
1. How did you feel about Bin Laden’s
death?
It’s been over a year since U.S. Navy SEALs raided a compound
in Pakistan and killed Osama Bin Laden yet I continually get asked how I feel
about Bin Laden’s death. Those who ask, believe the question is an innocuous one
and fail to realize the hateful connotation it illustrates. What these
individuals are really asking is “Were you sad about Bin Laden’s death?” The
assumption would be if I am, in fact, sad about his death then I, as a Muslim,
support the murder of innocent individuals. It’s really an offensive question to
ask. American Muslims were also attacked on 9/11. We were attacked twice. The
first attack was on our country, and the second attack was on our religion.
Islam denounces terrorism and rejects all forms of unlawful violence and killing
of innocent civilians. We will never lament the death of any terrorist in the
world.
2. Are you forced to wear “that thing” on your
head?
It’s crazy how many variations of the same question I get
about my
hijab. One of the major misconceptions about Muslim women is
that we are oppressed because veiling is linked with oppression. People are
usually shocked to hear that wearing the
hijab is 100% my decision. I
have immediate family members who chose not to wear it and I respect their
choices. I won’t deny that in some parts of the world women are forced to cover;
however, this is not a representation of Islam. Islamic principles exist but
whether or not Muslims choose to follow them is entirely their decision. So,
before you assume that Muslim women cover because their husbands, fathers,
brothers…forced them to, think again. Quite frankly, I don’t care what people
think when they see me all covered up. I’ve always rejected the “Western”
definitions of beauty that provide emphasis on physical sexuality. The
hijab
is my version of beautiful and wearing it makes me feel confident and
modest. I don’t try to compete with other women for males’ approval of my
physical appearance. I am happy to lose that competition.
3. How do I know you are not bald under
that?
I usually get questions relating to my hair from men. I think
it’s their way of hinting, politely, that they want to see my hair. Other males
are more courageous in their approach. They get straight to the point: “Can’t
you just show me your hair once?!” Sorry gentlemen, no sneak peeks unless you’re
family or my future husband. No, I’m not bald, and you’re just going to have to
take my word on this one.
4. Is your marriage arranged?
Nope! Unfortunately I have to go through the process of
weeding out all the creepy douchebags, in search of “the one,” all on my own.
I’m not lucky enough to have my parents provide me with a line up of eligible
bachelors to choose from. Arranged marriages are not a characteristic of Islamic
teachings; they are a cultural practice, not a religious one. There is a major
misconception about many communities that engage in so-called “arranged”
marriages. Most people believe the scenario goes a little something like this
(I’ll use fake names):
Parents: “Jane, meet Alan.”
Jane: “Hi, Alan.”
Parents: “Great, you like him. You will be marrying this man
tomorrow.”
Jane: “But…”
Parents: “No buts. This isn’t negotiable. Alan will be your
husband and you have no choice in the matter.”
When in reality, most families who engage in so-called
“arranged” marriages the actual incident is like this:
Parents: “Jane, do you know Alan? He is a very nice man I
think you should meet him.”
Jane, while hesitant to do so, actually takes her parent’s
advice and meets Alan. They date. Fall in love and THEN get married. Did the
parents pick a person who they thought would make their daughter happy? Sure
they did. It’s no different from being set on a blind date by your parents,
friends, or coworkers. They are arranging a meeting between you and someone with
the hopes that you will hit it off and live happily ever after. I wont deny that
there are cases where women are not given a choice, which is very unfortunate
and depressing, but again this isn’t a representation of Islamic
principles.
5. What do you do for “fun” if you don’t
drink?
It’s always surprised me how much people think they need
alcohol to have “fun.” Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against drinkers (most
of my friends drink), but I choose not to because my religion prohibits it. I
always respond to this question with a question: “Well, what do you do for fun?”
The response is always the same: go to parties, concerts, sporting events, theme
park etc. Well, I do all those things too, just minus the beer. The idea of
possibly not remembering what I did the night before because of a “few” drinks
never appealed to me. I’m forgetful as it is, so I don’t need a substance to
facilitate that process.
6. Do they have cars where you come
from?
I don’t know. Do they have cars in the United States? That is
where I’m from. Of course, I know what they really mean by the question. People
have actually asked me if camels are still the means of transportation in the
Middle East. It’s quite hilarious but also expected. When you watch various
Hollywood blockbusters (even recent ones) whenever the characters are in the
so-called Middle East the scene looks like this: camels roaming in the vast
sandy hills, women in burkas, men wearing long
thobes and turbans, and a small village with homes made out of
clay and twigs. No cars, no freeways, no streets, no skyscrapers. Nothing! So I
can’t say I’m surprised by the question.
7. Do you hate Jews?
It’s very unfortunate that the Western media has been
successful in portraying the many conflicts in the Middle East (especially
Palestine/Israel) as a religious conflict where Muslims hate Jews. Do some
Muslims hate Jews? Yup! Do some Jews hate Muslims? Sure. However, this isn’t a
representation of everyone. In fact, I would confidently aver that it’s a
minority. The Quran refers to Jews and Christians as
“Ahl al-Kitab,” or
People of the Book. Muslims believe these groups received divine revelation. The
Quran is clear in recognizing previous Abrahamic religions and provides special
status to “The People of the Book.” I’ve always enjoyed introducing my Jewish
friends to people. The bewildered facial expression they get after they learn my
friends are Jewish (and I’m clearly Muslim) is priceless. They exhibit a
confused “Oh, wait, you guys actually like each other?” expression.
8. Is it true that Muslims want to kill “the
infidels?”
One of the most quoted verses in the Quran is the one that
reads, “Kill them wherever you find them” (2:191-192). It’s interesting that
those who quote that verse always exclude the beginning, which reads, “Fight in
the cause of God those who fight you, but do not transgress limits; for God
loves not transgressors.” This verse is referencing a specific war. The only
time Muslims are permitted to kill someone is if war is being waged against them
and they are defending themselves. “Permission to fight is given to those upon
whom war is made because they are oppressed” (Quran 22:39). Of course, those who
argue that Muslims want to kill “the infidels” exclude major Islamic principles
from their argument so that they convince people to adopt their hateful views.
Unfortunately, these bigoted individuals have been successful at doing this and
I know this from personal incidents. In the last year of my undergraduate
education me and a few of my friends were always harassed by this lunatic girl
who would yell, “If you don’t want to kill me right now then you are not real
Muslims. Real Muslims have to kill the infidels.” Yeah, we laughed.
9. Are you hot?
The hotter summers in California get the more this question
is asked. I’ve always felt the need to respond with, “If you mean in a
physically attractive way, then yes, I’m hot.” Although, I fear people won't
sense the sarcasm and will assume I’m arrogant. If it’s 100 degrees outside,
then yes, like a “normal” person I’m hot. However, I’m not a lot hotter than
most people. People don’t notice that
hijabis* have different clothing
options depending on the weather. So if it’s hot, we usually switch to wearing
lighter/sheer
hijabs and lighter long-sleeved shirts. Do you ever
notice that gardeners, construction workers, and other outdoor workers always
put a cloth or towel over their head and then wear a hat? It protects their skin
from direct contact with the sun, and it’s actually a lot cooler. The
hijab
is similar in that way. It Isn't as hot as it looks, trust me.
10. Do you want the United States to adopt
Shari’ah Law?
I am satisfied with the United States Constitution and
wouldn’t want to replace it with anything. Having said this, I would protest the
banning of
Shari’ah. Confused? I bet. Let me explain. The meaning of
this term has been widely misunderstood.
Shari’ah literally means a way
or path to be followed. For Muslims, it is the path of faithfulness to God.
Shari’ah encompasses a wide range of values for Muslims like social,
moral, and economic regulations among other things. Let me give you a few
examples. I must exhibit a respectful attitude and good conduct towards
non-Muslims because this is required of me by Shari’ah. I must donate the money
I make off of interest in my savings account because
Shari’ah prohibits
me from keeping it. If my neighbors need assistance, and I have the means to
help them, then
Shari’ah commands that I do. When I see a hungry
homeless person on the street and God has blessed me with more than enough to
eat, then
Shari’ah encourages me to feed that person. Banning Muslims’
right to practice
Shari’ah is an infringement on our right to freely
practice our religion.
I do not demand or expect that non-Muslims follow
Shari’ah, after all, the Quran does state, “There shall be no
compulsion in religion” (2:256). However, I would still demand that First
Amendment rights be extended to Muslims too. Now the million-dollar question
that remains is does Shari’ah law exempt me from following the laws of United
Sates of America? Absolutely NOT! Did you know that
Shari’ah also
commands Muslims to obey the laws of the land they live in? I am required by my
religion to obey and follow U.S laws as long as I’m living in this country.
While we get ready to welcome the New Year, I hope that 2013
brings more curiosity and a zeal for learning about diverse cultures,
ethnicities, and religions. While I hope I wont have to be answering any of the
above questions anymore, I do encourage people to ask anything their minds
desire to know. I appreciate every type of question and I commend all
individuals who have the courage to ask their questions. I know it’s not easy
but it’s the only way misconceptions can be eradicated and we can truly learn to
respect one another. Instead of relying on what the media says about Muslims go
out and meet Muslims and get a first hand account. Most, like me, will be more
than willing to answer your questions. Don’t be afraid to express your thoughts
even if you think they may offend someone. Open dialogue and discussion is the
only way we can move forward in society.
So, ask! You can ask me anything. I’m an open book. Almost
nothing offends me. If being called a terrorist, Osama’s daugher, and “rag-head”
hasn’t offended me, then rest assured your question will not either. Let me
apologize in advance if I laugh at your question. Sometimes it takes me a while
to realize that people are being serious. One time, a student in my class asked
me if I shower with my
hijab on. Of course, I thought he was joking so
I responded with, “Yes, I shower fully clothed.” Then he said “really?! That’s
interesting.” At that point I realized it was a genuine question. Oops.
I'll leave you all with this quote: "
Don't make
assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really
want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstaings,
sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform
your life." -Miguel Angel Ruiz.
Happy New Year, friends!
*Hijabis isn’t a grammatically correct word. It’s something
women who wear the hijab came up with to address a group of women who wear
hijab. So instead of saying “women who wear hijab” we just say
“hijabis.”
