My Mother

I want to continue with the previous topic on parents.

I've had people ask me whether muslims celebrate Mother's Day, or Father's Day? When I reply 'not really', people are appalled! Needless to say, they think us nasty barbarians who do not honor our parents. But that's not true at all. As the previous post illustrates, we place our parents on a very elevated level and it's our duty to do the utmost we can for them.

What amazes me most, is how Western society is slowly placing more and more emphasis on the materialistic aspect of things. Every single special day is filled with consumerism, buying more and more, and focusing on the mere material. So it's Mother's Day? All a child has to do is give a phone call to their mother, send flowers and chocolate, and probably take them out for dinner. And then, seemingly pleased and content that they have fulfilled their duties for their parents, they are able to forget them for the rest of the year. How nice. How can a society claim that they honor their parents and love them because they keep aside a special Day for them, but at the same time when those very parents who raised and took care of children reach old age, they are shunned and relegated to some old age home? Is this respect for parents? Is it okay to leave the people responsible for bringing you up, catering to your every need, feeding you, clothing you, paying for your education, for all your entertainment needs and shun them like this? Once a child reaches maturity, it's their turn to start caring for the parents, as the parents cared for their children. It would be the greatest insult of all to place parents in nursing and old-age homes.

In muslim families, parents stay with their children, mostly with their sons and sometimes with their daughters, because a son's first responsiblity is his parents. A daughter is also required to care for parents, however, once she is married, her utmost required devotion shifts from the parents to the husband. It does not suit us, as muslims, to banish our parents out of sight to the old-age home. Ask any parent - would they like to live alone during the last days of their lives, away from their children, and is it okay if the child just sends money, even if he/she does that much? No. What the parent needs is to be close to their child, to receive emotional, psychological and moral support in their old age.

This is why it does not do to selfishly adopt a single day out of the entire year to express gratitude and show a materialistic form of affection to parents. We should be aware that honouring and showing sincere affection and gratitude to the mother especially, and then the father is a full time duty that should be practiced each and everyday of ones life. We can never never never repay our parents for all that they've done for us in our lives.

And in closing, I want to include this beautiful Nasheed (Islamic-oriented song, traditionally sung acapella, or accompanied by a drum), 'My Mother.'

This is based on the Saying of RasulAllah (Rasul = Prophet. RasulAllah = Prophet of Allah, meaning Prophet Muhammad, may the blessings of Allah always be upon him), where someone asked him who we should obey after Allah and after RasulAllah. His answer was "Your mother." The person again asked. "And who should I obey next?" RasulAllah (pbuh) answered - "Your mother." Again, the person asked, "O RasulAllah, who should I obey after that?" And yet again, his answer was "Your mother." Then, when the person repeated his question, the Prophet (p.b.u.h) stated "Your father." How tremendous is the status of mothers! Ya Allah, please help us always be kind to our parents, and may we be a comfort to them.

I really love this Nasheed, it's so beautiful - it's hard to listen to this and not feel moved.

Woman: "The Prophet (may peace be upon him) told us that we must obey Allah and His messenger at all times. But after that, who else did he tell us to listen to, and be close to?

Children: "Your mother."

Woman: "Yes. Well done."

Lyrics:

Who should I give my love to? My respect and my honor to?
Who should I pay good mind to, after Allah? And RasulAllah?
Comes your mother.
Who next?
Your mother.
Who next?
Your mother.
And then your father.

Cause who used to hold you, and clean you, and clothe you?
Who used to feed you and always be with you?
When you were sick, staying up all night,
Holding you tight,
That's right, no other....
My mother.

Who should I take good care of?
Giving all my love.
Who should I think the most of, after Allah? And RasulAllah?
Comes your mother.
Who next?
Your mother.
Who next?
Your mother.
And then your father.

Cause who used to hear you before you could talk?
Who used to hold you before you could walk?
And when you fell, who'd pick you up?
Clean you cut.
No one but your mother.
My mother.

Who should I stay right close to?
Listen most to?
Never say no to after Allah? And RasulAllah?
Comes your mother.
Who next?
Your mother.
Who next?
Your mother.
And then your father.

Cause who used to hug you and buy you new clothes?
Comb your hair and blow your nose?
And when you cried, who'd wipe your tears? Knows your fears?
Who really cares?
My mother.

Say Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah.
Thank you Allah for my mother!